Laurie's
LadyPenguin's
broken's
kuszak'stroy's
dave's
X'er'sjeff's
convenience's
traveler'sthought's
betrayal's
glenda
The increase in the divorce rate has little to do with an increase in the failure rate of marriage, only in the dissolution rate. Throughout most of our history divorce has been unacceptable. It was worse fate for a woman to be single than trapped in an unhappy marriage. The older generation women in my family all agree that they were for the most part dissatisfied in their marriages, but it was their duty to be a good wife and mother none-the-less. That sentiment is gone now, and the divorce rate has gone up as a result.
What has always been most detrimental to the institution of marriage is fear of mortality and immaturity. So many people get married to have something to hold on to, to feel like they will never be alone. It is my opinion that this is why most people under the age of 22 get married. It is so important to be happy and secure in yourself before making life-long commitments. I almost got married at the age of 23 to my college sweetheart. The relationship was fantastic on the surface, but deeper it was a tangle of interdependency. Now, ten years later, I am married to the love of my life. Our relationship works because of our mutual security. We trust each other because we trust ourselves. The way that I know that our relationship was meant to be is that I know in my heart that if one day the relationship were to end (for whatever reason), that I would not be bitter or sad, but would be happy for having the chance to know and love the wonderful man that is my husband.
As a person who's been divorced, and now remarried, here are my own thoughts on marriage, divorce, etc.
I got married at 18, pregnant and our parents basically forced us to get married. Wrong idea #1: Don't get married simply because there's a baby on the way. This does not make for a good marriage to start out with. We were divorced 11 months later, and I had a handicapped child on my hands to take care of alone, as his father didn't wish to accept his handicap.
I am older, and hopefully wiser now...and at 32, took the plunge and got married again, this time to 'the guy of my dreams'...to coin that silly phrase. I married a 22 year old man who dated me for three years before we ever discussed marriage. He pursued me quietly, diligently, and his sense of humor, intellect, etc. is very close to my own. He respected me from the very start, and never even attempted to kiss me for the first six months that we dated; I admired that about him.
I'm in between the Generation X/Baby Boomers; I came from a divorced, abusive home myself, and he is from a set of grandparents who raised him, his mother being a drug addict even when he was still in the womb; thank goodness he came out okay. We had a lot of long talks about marriage before we got married, and the term "commitment" doesn't seem to be in this generation's vocabulary. We are a society of instant gratification. If we want something, it's got to be now, it has to be fast, hence fast food, pre-prepared meals that are now widely available. If we don't like someone or something, we simply cut it out of our lives. Marriage is NOTHING without commitment; the strength to stick together through thick or thin, the daily commitment of staying with this person and loving them despite what disagreements you have, despite what troubles your relationship goes through. Commitment is being able to be away from that person, and be explicitly trusted that you will stay faithful to them. It has to be strong on BOTH sides of the relationship, or it's never, ever gonna work.
We've been through a lot; my biggest problem with our relationship was basically, my waiting for him to 'grow up' a little more; he was mature in a lot of respects, but being a genius who dropped out of high school, with no formal schooling beyond the tenth grade, made it really hard for him to believe in himself as far as any sort of career went. With a lot of cheering him on, on my part, and a lot of patience too, (so many times I wondered when we were living together if I should simply move him back out and send him home to grandma, because it seemed he didn't want to work, he wanted someone to take care of him) we have progressed now to our current situation, where we have purchased a brand new house, and he is working as a field technician, making great money, for an international computer and technology firm. He still has no formal education, but has had at least 10 years of doing just about anything with computers, and has an uncanny knack for picking up new skills with computers in a matter of minutes. I am staying at home for the first time in my entire adult life, raising my nine year old child from another previous relationship, my older son now (regrettably, but not my own doing) is in a foster home. I am starting my own business, and despite all the problems we have been through, from near homelessness to my working sixty hours a week to support all of us while he sat at home, playing video games, our relationship is solid and thriving. We have had our own unique problems with the age difference, but no more or no different than any other relationship. Again, the idea of commitment, as well as the communication, needs to be there. We spoke a lot of this before getting married; he admires his grandparents decision to be together now for fifty years, and has like-minded ideas about the concept of commitment. You simply don't throw out the whole reason why you're together in the first place simply because you're not happy at a particular moment. You must perservere in order for marriage to work, and talk, talk, and talk some more. Lucky for us, we've always been able to do that.
I wonder why more people don't consider counseling as a viable alternative to divorce. After all, you're together and married for some reason.
Thanks for listening
I'm a 25 year old male, married for 8 years. I am taking all the blame for my divorce. I was told by my wife that she has fallen out of love with me.She says i didn't pay any attention to her. She thought that if she got her own place to get away that we could work it out. So, I went to the bank, borrowed the money to get her a place, electric, phone and cable turned on to showed that I wanted this family to last.
Well, it lasted 5 days then I found out that she wanted to divorce, I thought I was doing a good job showing her that we could last but she did not see it that way. My heart is broken. How do you recover from this? Can anyone help? I just want her back. Any advice appreciated.
I recently came across your webpage while looking up some statistics on marriage for my husband. I can tell that you have been hurt and I hurt for you. Marriage is hard work, two separate lives have to combine into one. Two separate and totally different personalities have to life together under the same roof. This is a daily challenge for any couple. G-d made us all different and for some reason, we tend to marry opposites. This can be a benefit to us if we allow it to. When we hold onto our own ambitions and refuse to consider the needs of our spouse, this relationship becomes an impossible one.
Marriage is a give and take relationship - EVERY DAY!! Marriage is supposed to better our lives - not cause us pain. But, both partners have to agree to give 100%. This is impossible if BOTH husband and wife do not give. Please don't give up on the idea of marriage. Don't write it off as a plan to destroy men. Marriage is a wonderful thing, but it is also an awful lot of work!!!
You know...
...ah, man. It has been years (I'm 32) and it still gets me...
...i cried in my sleep from June 1993 to December 1996. Thanks so much for doing this page.
Take care.
Hey there, your web site strikes some very deep chords in me. I was married for seven years. I was committed to making our relationship work. We had marriage counseling and everything. But when the going got rough, my wife just said one day, May 1996, "I'm moving out and I got an apartment". I was totally crushed. I was in mid-sentence when I realized what she was saying and I just broke into tears. After severe humiliation we are now divorce.
Everything you've described in "the aftermath" I've experienced. I'm only now beginning to feel somewhat normal. I have a lot anger towards women at this point. I think it is genetically part of female nature to be chaotic. It is impossible for a woman to maintain a lifetime commitment. It's going to be very hard for me to be able to trust anyone else with my heart again.
Dave
Why X:
The fact that my Dad is on his fifth marriage, and my mom on her third, I have a literal divorce "Full House"; 3 via dad, 2 via mom. That's not common, but I would have to credit the Boomers with the widespread acceptance and implementation of divorce, abortion, and utter selfishness. This endless binge of constantly satisfying #1, has taught my generation some lessons. Did this neglect of us lead to kids having kids, or worse yet kid's killing kids? Not entirely, but Boomers produced the movies we watched, edited the magazines we read, and provided the all important parenting (or lack there of) we received.
Now I hear it's Gen X's fault that we cannot maintain successful marriages. Is this our fault ( X's), or maybe we can blame our grandparents for their accomplishment: The Boomers. The blame game can get more confusing than an Xer's career choice, so I'll say this: Individuals must have courage to face the challenges life presents, and the marriage fairy tales must be erased and replaced by real life success stories, listen to Paul Harvey's radio show, he's proudly congratulating 25-50+years married couples daily.
Family obviously has to be the focus, not career, not our personal interests. Divorce cannot be an option unless abuse is involved. We must be so committed to marrying for the right reasons, that we must risk not getting married at all. Think of how many marriages would be saved if they were never made. An ounce of prevention... The kid's are alright!
Boomers look in the mirror, your drug indulgence, runaway selfishness, divorce habits, have taught this Xer to think less of you than I'll ever think of my own (since we're on the subject of putting down generations). Who the hell named us Generation X anyway? I thought "Pepsi Generation" was so much cuter? I'm proud, accomplished, and still love my Mom. That's never gonna change. I'm just Xercising my opinion.
Wow, after reading your site, it helps me feel i am not alone...I can totally relate with everything you have said...
Next month woulda been ten years for me and my ex-wife. When going to therapy, we had found out that Romance lasts only 2 years in any relationship. And then friendship takes over from there. We had worked together for over 4 years and in that time, on the weekend we drifted apart...I look back now and saw that we both ended up pushing each other away...I matured she didn't want to...she wanted to party every weekend and i wanted to relax and enjoy the simplier things.
Toward the end i was hanging on to the PAST MEMORIES and not the present which made it harder to let go...it has now been over 3 weeks and each day it gets better and easier to go on! After realizing that she would not be happy, and the therapist said her heart was never into saving it...it was too late for us...She said she has been unhappy for over 1 year...but never said a word?? Why do people let things go until they are too late?
Now, cleaning my house i see all the memories and wonder was it really that BAD for her?? In my heart i know she is making the biggest mistake in her life...but if this will make her happy, then so be it! I knew she wasn't going to be strong enough to say "ITs OVER" and i was right, after 5 weeks of therapy, during that time she shut down on me: mentally, emotionally and sexually. It felt like i was being punished!
So, i knew she was leaning towards leaving and I ended it myself. I couldn't go on being in love with someone that couldn't return it back. It was very awkward towards the end, and in my heart. The woman i had grown to love DIED! And this new person wokeup next to me one day and said she was not happy anymore!
I still go on now in hopes of being in a good relationship and looking forward to loving again. That is what keeps me going...Whatever we had 10 years ago is gone now...Logically i know it is....my heart tells me now i understand the logic. The pain is slowly subsiding...Anyone can look from the outside and say whatever they want...but the HEART is what makes the difference...be with someone for 10 years and objectively state an opinion is not possible. Well thanks again.
I think a lot of what your site has to say is true concerning Generation X. I am a 28 yr old man, my wife of 2 months is 25 yrs old. I feel that our marriage is one of convenience to her.
My parents were very traditional people. My dad worked and mother kept the house and maintained the family until his death when I was 13 years old. Her parents on the other and a great big messy divorce, adultery from the father. The mother when she was growing up continuously threatening to leave her father putting up with his drinking and cheating and lying to her for over 20 years until I guess patience ran out. The mother was a great communicator were the father was not.
What my point is, that she has these values of marriage that are what I refer to as Kleenex syndrome you wipe your nose on it and when your done with it you throw it away and out comes another. I'm not saying I'm better then anyone but I am really big on communication in marriage due to the fact I was married one time before. She on the other hand does not communicate nor will she discuss anything, she thinks everything is a major disagreement or grounds for divorce, and constantly running home to her mother.
Well, finally I guess her mother got tired of this Generation X behavior of hers that you describe and that I have dealt with for the past 2 yrs dating and marriage combined. She basically said, "lets go over and talk to you husband" because I guess she wanted to see exactly just how bad of a person I was. Well, it comes out during or conversation the mother agrees with me on about 90% of our items that have been causing us problems.
I guess what I am saying is that there are so many young women out in society today to think or believe that marriage is a bowl or cherries but, in reality it is not it does have its ups and downs. It takes two to make it work or destroy it and it takes work everyday to keep it together. Generation X don't give up.
Thank you for starting this web page--it has been wonderful to read the comments of others who have been through a similar experience. My story is that I was divorced last year after two years of marriage, at the age of 28. I had dated my husband for ten years, and adored him. He also did me.
Our problems began immediately after we got back from the honeymoon--his job layoff, me wanting to move, deciding what was important in life, religious differences, different expectations of the role of higher education and whether to pursue higher degrees, differing decisions on when to have children, money issues, and loyalty to family members all contributed to an incredible deal of stress in our marriage. The mental anguish and anxiety during that time was so severe, it is a wonder I survived at all. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. We went to counseling, and did everything we could. My husband had a great deal of trouble being honest with me, and honest with himself. There were alot of unspoken secrets that made me uncomfortable, to the point where I never really believed anything he had to say. I finally left. When I told him I was leaving that morning, I was crying, hyper ventilating, and it was all I could do not to throw up right there. It was so traumatic. Nothing was important to me as my marriage. Nothing that it is except my faith in God, and my self-respect.
I am now on the road to rebuilding my life. I have only been on a few dates. It is definitely a difficult situation to be in, being young and divorced. Almost everyone I know is married and has young children, which is exactly where I wanted to be at this point in my life. It doesn't feel right just to say you are single, if someone asks. My divorce does not define me as a person, but it does define me in the eyes of other people. This has been the most difficult realization. Also, since I have been out of the dating world for so long, I find spending time with someone difficult and disconcerting, especially with the unspoken sexual issues. I think it would be far better to just come out and say what your personal expectations in regards to sex are at the beginning of the date. After going through a separation and divorce, I can finally understand why people seek solace in one night stands. It is just another way to dull the pain and to try to achieve some semblance of intimacy. I was tempted myself, but realized I would be pursuing sex for the wrong reasons and essentially just using the other person. I still believe sex should be ultimately reserved for love, not be just another way to communicate, satisfy an urge or end a pleasant evening.
I also find that since I have been through this whole process, I have a much lower tolerance for any anger displayed at me. I become uncomfortable with people arguing, especially if they are married, and become despondent at criticism, however gentle, that is leveled at me. On the positive side, however, I am more tolerant of others, and feel that I am open to what the world has to teach me through others. I see special gifts in the people I meet. After attending grief therapy, I have a great deal of respect and admiration with men who are also going through the process, especially as they work even harder to be accessible to their children. I now take time to chat with the woman at the checkout stand or the waiter or the person on the bus. I am eternally grateful for my family, and everything I have been given. I (try) to accept my share of responsibility for the demise of my marriage, and for my own failures as a wife. Life never promises to be easy or without pain. We have to make sure we learn as best we can from the lessons it teaches us.
Best wishes to all others on the journey. Please take the time and seek out a support group of others going through the process, if you are recently separated or in the process of divorce. You can find groups through local churches (groups can be religiously oriented or not). Read, mediate, pray, cry, get yourself in therapy, go back to school, write, volunteer in your community, adopt an animal, exercise, take up art or a hobby completely out of character (I learned how to fish), grow closer to your family. This is your time to heal.
Please sign me "a fellow traveler".
So much self blame and despair have I read in these pages! I feel compelled to take a moment to share some thoughts with you all because I feel it may help you to deal with what you are feeling, most of which is nothing more than the natural human emotions spawned by the end of a "meaningful" relationship. I am 45 and I too was married for ten years to a woman that I thought I "loved" and "understood" (we dated for a year and a half before we married in 1983). When it ended in 1993 by her "affair", a great deal of pain and self examination ensued. I went through much of the same things you have all described. In an attempt to cope with and understand what happened, I read as much and as widely as I could concerning the nature of human relationships and the meaning of marriage. What follows are some personal conclusions that I offer for your consideration. They are nothing more than my own opinions, so please accept them for what they are, just the musings of a fellow traveler down the road of life.
THOUGHT #1) MONOGAMOUS MARRIAGE IS NOT A NATURAL STATE! The institution of marriage has only existed for a few thousand years at best under religious sects. "FOR THE GENERAL EUROPEAN POPULATION" marriage has only recently had meaning for about 600 years. It derives from two legal concepts of humankind. The first is under religious law which is concerned with moral values and the second is under secular law which is concerned with property values. In fact "marriage" as an institution in west european societies had NO PRACTICAL MEANING WHATSOEVER FOR THE GENERAL PUBLIC PRIOR TO THE 1400s. Prior to that time, only the very wealthy (who worried about inheritance) or the royal blooded (who worried about inheritance) or the very religious (who worried about heavenly inheritance) needed to concern themselves with the formality of marriage (keep in mind that 95 percent or more of the population was illegitimate under most authorities of the time). That's why the "vows" are important, because you are swearing publicly before witnesses, your God, and your State that this person will be your mate, recognizing them as your ONLY partner in procreation, and sanctioning your "soon to be" children as legitimate. THE STATE OF MARRIAGE IS AN ARTIFICIAL HUMAN CONSTRUCT. (You choose its legitimizing source, whether that be the State, your God, or both, but know now that it has only been the "popular norm" in western society for 600 years out of 6.5 million years of human existence).
THOUGHT #2) WHY DO MEN AND WOMEN MARRY IN THE FIRST PLACE? There are many reasons to be sure, but at the core of basic human drives IS PROCREATION. In our search for "self actualization", we often forget that we are only one small cog in the 6.5 MILLION YEAR OLD Great Machine of Human Life (a machine which really isn't concerned too terribly much with any of our secondary "SELF-ish" goals, like happiness, for example). WHAT THE MACHINE WANTS IS OFFSPRING FROM THE MATING OF THE BEST POSSIBLE GENETIC MATCHES. AND HOW BEST TO DECIDE THE MATCH? WHY WE COMPETE! OF COURSE. Why else do you women look for those "few good men"? Why else do you men look for, well, you know....... Look deep into yourself and honestly ask why you ever turned down the advances of someone of the opposite sex? Wasn't it because you were being CHOOSY? You may protest that you were truly "in love" with your ex, but what is love anyway? How many of you have described that "feeling" of having met the perfect match? Match for what? Come on, admit to what most of you have described in these very pages on this site. See? ROMANTIC LOVE IS ARTIFICIAL. IT IS A HUMAN ATTEMPT TO DRESS UP WHAT IS ESSENTIALLY A BIOCHEMICAL DRUG DEAL PLAYED UPON YOU BY THE MACHINE OF LIFE TO INDUCE YOU TO PERFORM YOUR FUNCTION IN LIFE. If you don't believe me, just read the female letters in this site and count how many of them mention needing or wanting children. You can almost smell the Oxytocin! AS FOR THE MEN, "WELL, WE ALL KNOW WHAT THEY WANT!!" (I know, I know your ex was different....Yeah...Right...). But the real question is why do they want it? The answer is simple. That's what they MUST want in order TO BE INDUCED TO PERFORM THEIR FUNCTION IN LIFE. The Machine doesn't care, it does whatever it takes! AND I ASSURE YOU THAT NONE OF YOU WOULD HAVE SAID "I DO" UNLESS YOU BELIEVED YOUR MARRIAGE PARTNER "WOULD DO" AS A GENETICALLY ACCEPTABLE PARTNER FOR PROCREATION.
THOUGHT #3) OK, SO WHY DID IT END IF HE/SHE WAS MY "PERFECT" MATCH? To understand this, look at all of these posts. What is in common? Most have divorced AFTER THE CHILDREN HAVE BEEN PRODUCED! Usually at least two to five years out. And how many of the divorced go on to produce more children by other mates? To hear them describe them, presumably more "acceptable" mates? Is the Machine getting what it wants? You figure it out.
THOUGHT #4) WHY DOES DIVORCE SEEM MORE PREVALENT THESE DAY? It IS more prevalent in WESTERN SOCIETY! It is a function of the generally higher level of wealth that allows women to divorce and still feed their offspring. The Machine is simply taking advantage of the opportunity to produce more potentially good matching offspring. If you look at poorer societies you will find a greater taboo against divorce. In those societies the conservation of wealth within families is necessary to be able to feed and raise the offspring. Marriages are "arranged" based primarily upon wealth and not personal choice. Don't believe me? Just ask your friendly Indian or Pakistani neighbor sometime about marriage customs in their native land. In Western Society the species' primary concern is no longer wealth, but has become more focused on the "PERFECT GENETIC PARTNER". Why else do you think we are all so concerned with "LOOKS". LOOKISM RULES! PERFECT BODIES, PERFECT MATES! PERFECT CHILDREN! Some of you protest, "Oh No! That's not how it was with my ex-perfect lover!" But I tell you that is exactly how it was, because if your marriage had been based on something other than the driving forces I have been describing, then it probably wouldn't have come to an end!
THE LIBERATING POINT OF ALL THIS IS THAT YOU ARE NORMAL! THE END OF YOUR PERFECT MARRIAGE WAS THE NATURAL OUTCOME OF HUMAN BEHAVIOR! YOUR UNHAPPINESS WITH THE SITUATION IS ONLY AS A RESULT OF YOUR BEING BRAINWASHED BY SOCIETY INTO BELIEVING IN ROMANTIC LOVE AND THE HUMAN MACHINE'S ABILITY TO DRUG YOU AND CONTROL YOU BIOCHEMICALLY. YOU SEE YOU REALLY ARE "ADDICTED TO LOVE!" LIKE THE SONG SAID. IT ISN'T YOUR FAULT! STOP BLAMING YOURSELF AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE.
BEST WISHES TO YOU ALL!
It's been eighteen months since my divorce. Every time I think I am over it, tears run down my face for no apparent reason, or I have to sleep with a pillow next to me, just to feel for a moment that someone is there for me. It has been the single most devestating thing that has ever happened, and the worst of it is that I still love my husband, or the memory of him. Here is a poem I wrote about whay happened.
Betrayal on Copperfield Circle
In the entry, I carefully placed a Foo dog, I delicately twisted a palm leaf into a cross, placing it above my door, protection from evil. A thief in the night, waiting for me
to let my guard down, so that she could betray me to take from my lover, my trust, my life and me. Disguised as a true friend she would come to comfort on her way home, sex my husband deliberately,
leaving me, my family, my life in shock, angry. When first discovered couldn't look me in the eye, either could he, beating the door, crying sorry but not as sorry as me, letting evil come
between us, in the seventeenth year of marriage. Picked up the Foo dog, he exploded in my hands the cross of palm just crumbled into dust, falling as sand falls through fingers of a hand. Betrayal.
Written by JMD
Thanks for your heartfelt sharing. Just gallumphed over to your site in an effort to stifle my 4-years-later late-night bawling.
If ever I felt for a moment that the husband who left me spent even one hour crying over me, well, that would surely be something. Four years later he is remarried and should be nice to me in his happiness at getting everything he wanted so quickly (a woman who fits his agenda when I was sliding out of it). But he is not nice to me yet, not for the sake of our child, not for the sake of what is right and true. Which is disturbing, and telling.
I have two hypothesese: 1. either he never really loved me at all, just liked how I fit his agenda for a macho woman who could sea kayak and do the B & B's and rainy camping trips and all that guy stuff just swell, or 2. he really loved me tremendously but just did not have the foundation, the wherewithal to work through his feelings, instead had to pull-away, run.
Whatever. Because he has refused me any sort of sentiment or reconciliatory expressions, I am stuck. I am a beautiful, educated, funny, personable, talented woman in her prime, raising a child on my own and very sad because my grief keeps me from enjoying much of any type of social life. In fact, too many hours are spent feeling as if my life is over. I have met some men in their forties since the divorce, even a few I believed I could "fall in love" with. However, now more discriminating, I see the fatal flaw: they are not capable of loving me. Their agendas for who they might commit to are so tight, so refined. What I have realized is that they are looking for someone who is easy for them to love. Surely, if she fits it all, how easy that would be.
BUT, that is not love. That is not love at all. She cannot possibly fit that agenda forever, as life has its turns. Why you love someone cannot have a specific answer, or reason, for it to be true love. All you know is that you want to give to, to be with, to make happy that person in any way you can because in doing so you are filled with joy. Joy at their smile, their release, their happiness. I knew indeed how much I loved my husband when I felt no jealousy at his remarriage: I truly wanted him to be happy, and if I could not effect that, then my happiness was in seeing him reach for his. However, for too many years now, he has exhibited no generosity toward me with regard to my happiness.
He made me the scapegoat for his midlife milieu, and what do you do when he may never realize it? I have felt more like his mother through these emotional trials, recognizing that he is having a delayed adolescence...rebellion against mother (but she was too powerful so he chose me to rebel against after I became a mother).
Well, it's all sickeningly complicated and simple, and predictable if you read the right chapters in the marriage manuals: year nine. People make mistakes. Most of them little ones. Our generation, accustomed to the instant reward of a perfect cup of capuccino, has no long-range wisdom when it comes to love. Our generation still lives like it is going to live forever. I used to drive him into cemetaries if we were passing one during a disagreement and say This Is Where We End Up, Is Your Point THAT important? And by golly if he wouldn't walk away until I had to drive the car to find him where he was hiding behind some gravestone. Now a person could laugh, or cry in that position, but him -- he always walked away, avoided facing the truth. Well. I certainly carry my purse of flaws. But I never pretended, not once, that I didn't own any of 'em.
Regardless, the AFTERMATH has been near nihilation of the heart, trust, hope, joy in seeing the stars play magic in the night sky. I have met every extreme of men since, all of them completely selfish and cloaked in fear. And I have seen how easy I could love them: their aftershave, making them smile, standing next to them as one, their kids, their odd habits. It's scarey how easy I could love, and yet I remain discriminating for safety's sake. Discriminating, and alone.
Anyway, in summary, why marriages don't work today: people want mates to fit inflexible agendas. Love isn't about love (see Corin. 13) but about personal satisfaction. Egos, no matter how many PhD's, are weak. And sadly, men of our generation are not leaders. They don't behave or act like kings. They mostly act like court jesters. The strong women of today cannot go soft with a court jester. Unless he is a king, nothing is worth the exposure. Anything less brings her down, and gives him a false sense of manhood.
Aloha,
Glenda
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Laurie's LadyPenguin's broken's kuszak's |
troy's dave's X'er's |
jeff's convenience's traveler's |
thought's betrayal's glenda |
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